


Don't Go

by YeetMeet



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: All the relationships can be viewed as platonic or romantic, Angst, Cancer, Hospitals, Its mostly Eremin leaning, M/M, probably shouldn't read this, this ones sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 05:55:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18632173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeetMeet/pseuds/YeetMeet
Summary: Armin's diagnosed with cancer and Eren and Mikasa help him through it





	Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I really hope this one's ok. I've lost a lot of family and family friends to cancer in the last two or three years, I don't really know what this is but I wrote it based on a few things from that.

It was a quiet night, the only thing Eren could hear was his family's soft snoring from down the hall. His phone sat charging next to his bed, the large digital numbers across the screen read 2:45. He sighed and rolled over, he hadn't been able to sleep for months. Not since Armin got diagnosed.

It had been just over a year, Eren and Mikasa were both with him when the doctor gave him the news and both barely held back tears as they looked at him and saw shock, fear and sadness flash across his face. Armin didn't cry until they were leaving, walking down a hospital corridor. Mikasa reached out and took his hand when he suddenly broke down. She guided him to sit on one of the hard plastic cover seats and she and Eren held him for a while as they all cried.

Armin was silent for most of the drive home. They had stopped at an intersection when he suddenly spoke up. "I'm not going to die." He stated, his voice a strange tone. Both Eren and Mikasa looked over at him as he sat up straighter in his seat and looked at them both with a determined smile. His eyes shone but they could still see the fear behind them "I'm going to fight this, I'm not going to let this be the end." They both gave him equally determined smiles. "We'll be there with you."

Eren and Mikasa made sure at least one of them was with him for every appointment he had, especially when he was started on chemo. It always made him so sick, Eren almost got used to holding his hair back as he threw up. A few weeks later, however, there wasn't any hair to hold back. Armin had decided to shave it after it started falling out. 

There were short times where he seemed almost fine, he’d do things around the house or even go out with Eren and Mikasa. He was still determined as ever, which was a comfort for Eren especially. He knew Armin and he trusted him completely. Armin was smart, strong and the bravest person Eren knew. If he said he was gonna make it through this, then he was going to make it through.

Nausea and hair loss weren’t the only side effect’s Armin had to deal with, He also found the chemo affected his taste. Most foods started tasting awful. He usually had a massive sweet tooth but after starting chemo he would complain that anything sweet left a terrible taste in his mouth. He hated it, he would be hungry but everything tasted gross. The only foods he seemed able to stomach were either salty or bland so Eren made sure he had plenty of food he could actually stomach. 

They continued on like that for a while, until Armin finally had an operation to remove it. Eren was sure that it would work and after Armin would be fine, he'd come back to school, his hair would grow back, he’d eat normally again and things would go back to normal.

The operation was a success, things were going well! Eren and Mikasa went to see Armbi every day as he recovered and the doctors ran tests. Eventually, he got to come home. The three of them were ecstatic, Armin was ok! Everything was going to be ok!

Eren was at home, two weeks later, when he got a phone call from Armin. He bearly said hello before Armin interrupted, he was back in the hospital, it had come back. The doctors had told him it was likely terminal.

This time was different. Armin kept up a brave face around them but when Eren looked at him, the determination had all but gone from his eyes. What frightened him the most though, was that the fear had gone too. Armin's usually bright eyes looked almost dull, worse than the first time, his eyes had never looked like this.

He looked broken.

Armin deteriorated quickly this time. Every time Eren saw him he seemed to get worse, no matter how much he pretended to be ok, he always looked so worn and sick. Months went by and she only got worse.

Eren huffed and rolled off of his bed. He knew wasn't going to get any sleep, he was too restless and he had a weird nagging feeling in his gut that wouldn’t go away. He pulled on a hoodie and shoved his phone in his pocket before tiptoeing downstairs. He grabbed his shoes and then quietly as possible, unlocked and opened the front door. Once outside, he pulled on his shoes and headed off down the street.

He didn't know where he was headed until thirty minutes later when he was walking the all too familiar route through horrible white, blue and green hospital corridors. He knew Armin was likely asleep but right now, he just needed to see him.

To his surprise, when he entered Armin's room he found him lying awake, staring out the window at the stars. Armin was never particularly physically big or strong looking but he never looked like this, pale and tiny with dark circles under his eyes. Eren gently knocked on the door to get his attention. Armin looked over at him and smiled, Eren smiled back "Hey." He said making his way over to the bed. "Hey." Came Armi's tired Response. He didn't question why Eren was here, he came to see him most nights lately. "Couldn't sleep, huh?" Armin asked looking up at him. Eren shrugged "It's been kinda hard lately," Armin nodded in understanding. There was something different about him tonight, Eren couldn't quite figure out what it was. He seemed . . . sad? But oddly peaceful at the same time.

"I’m really glad you’re here, I think they were gonna call Carla soon anyway,” Armin said with a tired smile. Eren raised an eyebrow. Usually, Armi would wait till the morning to call because, despite them assuring him on multiple occasions that it was fine, he didn’t want to wake them up or bother them late at night. “Hey Eren," Armin said looking up at the ceiling "You know how when we were little we used to say we'd go travel the world together?" Eren nodded, most of their games and stories growing up had been about traveling and seeing everything the world had to offer, they had promised each other that one day they'd make it a reality. "Yeah, We're still gonna do it one day," Eren said gently taking his hand. "Once you get better, we can get out of here. Me, you and Mikasa, We'll pack up and go see everything the world has to offer. Together." Armin looked over at him for a few moments, Eren noticed a look of grief flash across his face before he nodded. "Of course we will." He agreed before looking back up at the ceiling. “We’ll go see the world together.”

They sat in silence for a while. Eren sitting beside the bed, holding Armi's hand until he turned his head to look at him "Could you hold me?" Armin's voice seemed a little softer than usual. "What do you mean?" Eren asked quietly. Armin gently pat the bed beside him. "Like when we were kids." He said with a tired smile, thinking back on their childhood sleepovers. “Am I allowed?” Eren asked shuffling closer.

Armin nodded and without anouther word, Eren carefully climbed in next to him. He helped Armin shuffle closer, he had a little trouble doing it on his own. They lay close, facing each other. Armin rested his head on Erens arm, holding his free hand between them. They lay like that for a while, until once again Armin spoke. "Thank you so much, Eren." He said looking up at him slightly "Thank you and Mikasa, you two are my best friends. You guys were always there for me, you helped me through everything life threw at me and made my life so amazing. It really means the world to me." his voice wavering slightly. "You mean the world to us too, we both love you so much," Eren said, tears springing to his eyes as he realized that this all sounded too much like a goodbye. "We love you Armin, we’ll always be here for you. I love you, so, so much." Armin gave a small smile at that, "I love you too Eren." He said peacefully, like he was struggling to stay awake. A few moments went by, then Eren felt him start to go limp in his arms. The machine beside the bed began to beep frantically. Eren looked into Armin's eyes and watched his once brilliant blue go completely dull. "Armin?" He called slightly desperately, "Armin wait-you can't. Not yet! We still have to-" Eren couldn't finish his sentence He just held him and began to sob.

A few seconds later a doctor and two nurses came in. They checked Armin over, Eren heard the doctor pronounce his time of death aloud. They let him hold him for a little while longer, not that they'd be able to pry him away right now anyway.

Mikasa arrived shortly after with Carla. She ran to the bed and stared at Armin with wide, tear filled eyes. She reached out and gently touched his cheek. A sob escaped her as she cupped his face and tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Eventually, a nurse had them all leave the room. Eren stared at the ground as it really hit him. This was it. His best friend was dead. Armin was gone. His body folded and crumpled, He knelt on the floor and held his head in his hands. Mikasa knelt beside him, holding onto his arm and buried her face in his shoulder. Carla knelt in front of them and pulled them both into a tight hug, holding them both as they cried. They stayed like that until their sobs subsided.

The drive home was completely silent, none of them wanted to talk. Until they stopped at an intersection, the same intersection where Armin had given them that determined look and promised that this wasn't the end. Eren looked over at the seat where he had sat and felt almost bitter. Armin had assured him that he was going to make it but he didn't. He had given him hope and then died anyway. Eren shook his head, Armin had fought with everything he had! It wasn't fair to be bitter about the fact he hadn't won. He’d done so well to make it as far as he did! Eren felt a pang of guilt and mentally scolded himself for the moment of bitterness.

He looked out the window at the stars and then the streets as they passed. The streets he and Armin had grown up wandering together and felt a fresh rush of grief. He saw so many places that held so many memories for the two of them, the corner store they would always buy ice cream from in the summer, a tree they used to climb when they were young, the path that leads to the river where they used to hang out by in high school. He knew he could never go back to any of them again.

Mikasa slept in Eren's bed almost every night after that. A few weeks later they had the funeral, that night they laid side by side, silently staring at the ceiling. Despite being exhausted, neither could sleep. "We should go" Eren stated, voice quiet but clear. Mikasa looked over at him "What do you mean?" Eren continued to stare at the ceiling. "We should leave. Go travel and see the world, like we were always gonna do." Mikasa nodded in understanding "Yeah, I think that's a good idea." she paused for a moment “He would want us to.” Eren looked over at her and smiled despite the tears that had started to fall yet again. Eren squeezed Mikasa’s hand, she was right. Armin would want them to go live out their dream and no matter what it took, they would


End file.
